COMICtaries #4

----A member of Students for Concealed Carry on Campus, says that students should be allowed to carry guns to discourage violence on campus. Actually, the ability to get a date would discourage violence on campus.



----Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice expects a land agreement to be reached between Israel and Palestine before Bush's term ends--or before her perm ends.




----Researchers are saying that babies as young as 6-months-old can make social judgements. That's all NAMBLA members were waiting to hear.

----A poll reveals that 77-percent of Americans are unhappy with the state of the country. The other 23-percent are just happy they're not locked up.

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COMICtaries #3

The News Is a Joke

----Hate crimes are up 8-percent. The rise comes from all the previously unreported police beatings.

----Free University of Brussels scientists noted that there's seems to be a connection between cockroaches huddling in the dark to do their dirty work and the Bush Administration.

----Fran Thompson, Homeland Security Adviser is stepping down to pursue work in the private sector. She expects to take a break then get back to lying for another major corporation.

----Foreclosures are on a steady increase with no slowdown in sight according to new survey. At this rate, motorists may soon be seeing signs hanging in front of homeless shelters that read: "If you lived here, you would be home now!"

----Beowulf, a movie about a leader who loses credibility over a piece of ass, is rumored to be inspired by the life of Bill Clinton. However, Clinton said: "I didn't have sexual relations with the dragon--unless you mean Hillary."

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COMICtary #2

The News is a Joke

by Mutwasze

The Immigration issue has divided this country apart so much—soon you’ll need a visa just to cross over to the side of the debate you’re on.

Plastic surgeon Dr. Jan Adams claims he’s not at fault for the death of Kanye West’s mother who died following complications from surgery. Like the first Adam, he’s blaming the woman.

Detroit passed St. Louis as this year’s most dangerous city according to an FBI-basesd poll—which is just code for TOO MANY BLACKS!

World Cup ski champion Bode Miller said steroid doping is happening in sports anyway so it should be allowed. In short, make it like betting and cheating.



Oprah Winfrey gave away a ton of gifts in Macon County, Georgia, Saturday. The one gift she couldn't give, however, was self-esteem.

COMICtaries #1

The News Is a Joke
by Mutwasze

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez threatened to raise oil prices if the United States attacks his country or Iran. There's also suspicion he would raise cocaine prices.

Federal lawmakers want to know if California State officials lied about the deployment of their resources during the recent blaze that hit the state? As if to prove the point--State officials had no response.

Colombian writer, Gabriel Garcia Marquez's book about a 90-year-old man's love affair with a 14-year-old prostitute, was banned in Iran, Saturday. The book was getting more than just hopes up--receiving rave reviews and reviving old penises.

Wilfredo Vasquez, an Immigration Agent has been charged with raping a female detainee from Jamaica. Apparently, he doesn't know the difference between crossing the border--and crossing the line.

M1 of rap duo DEAD PREZ was in Washington yesterday as part of the Hip Hop Caucus' effort to raise awareness for Hate Crimes and Police Brutality--which is actually the same issue.

Republican presendential contender John McCain wants to allow prescription drugs in from Canada. Maybe McCain is just tired of slipping across the border for his own meds.

A collection of about 1,000 rare coins were sold for $30 million to an anonymous buyer. The coins have never-seen-before designs on them including one of Lincoln slapping a slave.

"joke 4 joke the funniest writer on the net!"

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